With or w/o makeup, it's up to me

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So today I chanced upon this article which was written a while ago (a little late and slow on my part) and it really resonated deeply within me. I've heard people, guys and girls alike, go on about how precious natural beauty is, and how using makeup to get gorgeous and turn heads is cheating and fakery. Well it probably is cheating, but so what? Don't tell me whether I should or should not wear makeup. I'll wear it when I feel like it, and I won't wear it when I don't feel like it.

I've suffered from bad, troubled skin for as long as I can remember, even way back in primary school when most other kids had perfect skin. My skin started becoming an oil factory (I kid you not) since the age of 9 and other kids would constantly tease or laugh at me about it. I spent so much of my allowance back then on oil blotting sheets and skincare products that promised to reduce oil production blah blah blah. And when you have overactive sebaceous glands, you're gonna tend to develop acne as well.

One incident in school still replays in my head every now and then, in clear detail, as if it just happened yesterday. When I was in Primary 3, my class was in the middle of Health Education when our teacher started assigning us to a particular activity which involved counting the number of pimples on each other's faces. Why the writer of the Activity Book would come up with such a brutal class activity is beyond my comprehension. Anyway, I was allocated into the same group as a few other popular kids in class, and I remember a girl I shall just refer to as "C" looking at me in disgust and remarking "Why do you have so many pimples?". My other groupmates started laughing and recorded the number of pimples I had in the Activity Book. I'm pretty sure I cried when I got back home that day.

And then other girls started suffering from some oily, or combination skin as well. And they would be passing out oil blotters after Physical Education class, or during recess, and comparing the amount of oil absorbed after using them. For those of you who have used oil blotters, you would know how gross they become if you have super oily skin like me. Having girls peer over at my used oil blotters and inch away in horror was highly embarrassing and humiliating. I hated it.

There was also that complex I had (and still have) with my uneven eyelids. I have one double eyelid and one single eyelid (actually being a tiny inverted double eyelid). I felt a little better about it after one my best childhood friends Natalie told me she thought it was cute, but I still felt uncomfortable about it all the time. Yes I was was and still am very self-conscious.

And then a few years later, I discovered makeup. And boy was it a life changer for me. In my opinion, concealer is the most amazing thing to have been invented. There is something very therapeutic about dabbing it onto your face and covering up scars or red pimples and feeling prettier. With every flaw I hid away, I felt my self-confidence increase by leaps and bounds, and I could walk out the door without feeling the need to bow my head down and hide my face away. On some days when I did a really good job, I walked out feeling amazing. I subsequently discovered eyelid glue as well, and I could now go out with even eyelids. Yay!

Fast forward 11 years later. I am now 20, and I still suffer from oily skin and bouts of acne (sometimes terrible) every now and then. My skin condition has definitely improved overall, but I still have acne scarring from years of terrible skin. I reckon my makeup application skills have also improved (by no means am I pro but I know what works for me and what doesn't). I rarely go out bare-faced. Some people may suggest that it is because I am ashamed of my naked face. I would say I prefer for people not to see me with all my flaws; I want them to see me in the best way possible. The truth is that everyone wants to look good. I want to look good.

In this beautiful song, Colbie Caillat conveys the message that "you don't have to try". She also says "Take your makeup off, let your hair down, take a breath. Look into the mirror.... Don't you like you?". She implies that we are all trying so hard and dolling up so that others like us, and it doesn't matter what they think as long as we like our natural selves. But what if I like myself both natural and dolled up?

So many courageous women have been uploading their bare-faced photos and showing that it is okay to have imperfections, and I truly applaud them. (I am referring those who are genuinely sharing their less glamorous sides with everyone instead of those who are bragging about how they still look amazing without makeup lol). For instance, Lorde who uploaded this photo on her Instagram. It's truly inspiring, and a reminded that it's okay to not be perfect.

On the other hand, who says that when I doll up, I do it because I am ashamed of my imperfections and I do it to please others? A guy once told me "Is some dude gonna get lucky tonight?" when I casually remarked that I was shaving my legs for a Friday night out. Why do people always assume that we dress up and paint our faces for others? Why can't I do it for myself, and my own confidence?

Some people believe that life is too short to waste a chance. Others believe life is too short to make too many mistakes. I believe in all of that. I also believe that life is too short to not look your best. And in no way am I trying to pressure people in to thinking the same way I do. I am vain. Other people aren't. My point is, if I choose to attempt looking good out in public, how does that affect you, and why do you have a say in it? Colbie Caillat is right. You don't have to try. But babe, you can try. It's okay to try.

It's a free world. I can do whatever I want.

I was recently hanging out with this male friend of mine, and it was the first time he was seeing me with "no makeup". I will confess here, I was wearing circle lenses and concealer to cover up redness. I would have worn more makeup, had my face not been inflamed at the lower waterline of my right eye, and at my lower cheek near the chin, due to some unknown allergic reaction. He looked closely and remarked that I look better "without makeup", that I looked "more unique", and I shouldn't wear so much makeup anymore.  Kinda made me chuckle a little, yeah I felt a little flattered (falsely so since I wasn't actually without ANY makeup). Maybe one of these days I will turn up without any makeup or circle lenses at all, and then he might have a more realistic gauge of whether he thinks I should wear makeup. Then again, do I really care about what his eventual evaluation will be? Is it going to affect my daily routine of makeup or no makeup? NOPE.

Till next time! XOXO

Imma continue being fabulous.