I've always been a pretty evasive person, that I will admit. I never thought of it as too big of a problem, until recently. It was drawn to my attention by friends who started having issues with me not answering their questions.
Why are people evasive? I reckon it's usually because they are reluctant or unable to answer the questions posed to them in their daily lives. It might be that they have something to hide. It might also be that they just can't be bothered accounting to certain people.
Why do I have a habit of answering questions indirectly? Sometimes things are more complicate than they seem. People have told me: "It's just simple question with a simple answer. Just tell me yes or no.". But things are never that easy. Sometimes admitting something leads to a whole chain of subsequent events and revelations that you do not wish to happen. We all know that things can accelerate pretty quickly.
When faced with such inhibitions, it's hard to put your thoughts and feelings into words, and tell someone or anyone about them. You open your mouth, and you desperately want to muster up the courage and let it out. But nothing comes out. It's hard to talk about things you're not proud of.
Then again, maybe sometimes people are evasive because they are curious about who will make the effort to knock down those walls they've built around their heart, so as to understand their heart better. At the end of the day, we all want to be cared for. We want people to give a hoot about us. We want to be loved. People inch in a direction where they feel wanted. It's the natural thing to do.
I realise that this evasiveness is truly an annoying trait that really frustrates people around me sometimes, especially the ones who genuinely care. There are ways to overcome this though, if you would like to encourage someone to open up their hearts to you. Nobody likes hiding things from the world. Even the most evasive people drop hints here and there, every now and then. They then gauge the reaction they elicit from people. If you show that you are accepting and non-judgmental of the various little stories and feelings they share with you, they will begin to trust you more and more. And they will gradually open up to you. It feels good when you can be completely truthful with someone and not have to bottle things up anymore.
When accused of being "overly mysterious" and evasive, I often dismiss such allegations by pointing out that the only person I ever need to be accountable to is myself. But to find someone whom you can be completely honest and open with, someone whom you tell things to willingly not because you owe them explanations but because you would like to share your life, experience and feelings with them => that would be such a precious thing. I hope I can find that someday.
Why are people evasive? I reckon it's usually because they are reluctant or unable to answer the questions posed to them in their daily lives. It might be that they have something to hide. It might also be that they just can't be bothered accounting to certain people.
Why do I have a habit of answering questions indirectly? Sometimes things are more complicate than they seem. People have told me: "It's just simple question with a simple answer. Just tell me yes or no.". But things are never that easy. Sometimes admitting something leads to a whole chain of subsequent events and revelations that you do not wish to happen. We all know that things can accelerate pretty quickly.
When faced with such inhibitions, it's hard to put your thoughts and feelings into words, and tell someone or anyone about them. You open your mouth, and you desperately want to muster up the courage and let it out. But nothing comes out. It's hard to talk about things you're not proud of.
Then again, maybe sometimes people are evasive because they are curious about who will make the effort to knock down those walls they've built around their heart, so as to understand their heart better. At the end of the day, we all want to be cared for. We want people to give a hoot about us. We want to be loved. People inch in a direction where they feel wanted. It's the natural thing to do.
I realise that this evasiveness is truly an annoying trait that really frustrates people around me sometimes, especially the ones who genuinely care. There are ways to overcome this though, if you would like to encourage someone to open up their hearts to you. Nobody likes hiding things from the world. Even the most evasive people drop hints here and there, every now and then. They then gauge the reaction they elicit from people. If you show that you are accepting and non-judgmental of the various little stories and feelings they share with you, they will begin to trust you more and more. And they will gradually open up to you. It feels good when you can be completely truthful with someone and not have to bottle things up anymore.
When accused of being "overly mysterious" and evasive, I often dismiss such allegations by pointing out that the only person I ever need to be accountable to is myself. But to find someone whom you can be completely honest and open with, someone whom you tell things to willingly not because you owe them explanations but because you would like to share your life, experience and feelings with them => that would be such a precious thing. I hope I can find that someday.
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