Semester 1 2015 kicked off this week and I thought it would be appropriate to draw up a list of things I will be doing this semester. We always have new year resolutions and I guess these are my new semester resolutions, which I have not only planned, but will also DO.
MY SEM 1 RESOLUTIONS
1. Exercise more
So I realise I've been going on about my supposed #journeytofitness for a while, and I started on it once or twice in the past few years, but never really stuck to it. Simply put, I am not very fit and I don't have much perseverance when it comes to exercise. This however, is soon to change. This 4th year uni kid recently signed up for a 7 day gym trial, and I went for my first ever gym class today - Body Attack. And what an apt name for such a crazy hectic strenuous class. All gym classes are an hour long and unfortunately, I only managed to to through with 15 minutes. Sounds like a mega fail but everyone else told me it's a pretty good job for a beginner, given how hardcore the class is (maybe they were just consoling me...). PLUS, I haven't worked out properly in years. 18 minutes next time, perhaps? Bahaha.
Alright, shall get my gym membership when the free trial expires. Hooray for a fitter me!
2. Be more frugal
Just by moving out of halls this year, I am actually already saving a substantial amount of rent money, and I'm pretty proud of myself for doing that. I'm seriously sacrificing a whole lot of comfort and privacy, and I'm really missing my room back in Briggs. On the other hand, my housemates are pretty nice and it's not as lonely as living alone. So I guess there are pros and cons, and the biggest advantage is the hundreds of dollars I get to hold on to every month. And that's awesome.
On the other hand, I have to make sure that I don't adopt this "hell yeah this means I can spend more money on food and clothes and make up" mentality as time goes by. Cheaper rent is not an excuse to shop more! I may still need to get some necessities and settle down properly these 2 weeks, but after that, I gotta start being thrifty Chengcheng. You can do it, girl.
3. Be more hardworking and attend all classes
Alright, maybe "attend all classes" is a bit of a stretch, but so far I've kept my attendance in check (big deal yeah, it's only been 2 days). I haven't been this enthusiastic and excited about uni in a while. I have actually started working on lecture note formats and reading up in advance for lectures (yay), which is a pretty big deal for me. Like whuuuuuuuuut. I really like the units I chose this semester, and I can't wait to get to the core content in Animal Law and International Law. We've already touched on an introduction to trusts in Trusts, and I've got my first Commercial Law lecture tomorrow. I'm pretty stoked for it.
Obviously I'm aiming for better grades too, that goes without saying. This time, I'm really going to work very hard on them. And this means less going out, and no partying unless it's someone's birthday, etc. Last year I clubbed probably about 4 or 5 times? This year, hopefully it'll be 0. But oh well, if it's someone's birthday and they booked a table I may be obliged to come out of "retirement" and let loose for a bit (tee hee).
4. Identify all the things (& people) I don't need anymore
As mentioned in point 3, I'm retiring from all those parties, and this means that I will no longer need all these party dresses. My new wardrobe is really small, and it just further highlights (in a bad way) how much clothing and make up I have, that I hardly or don't even use. I am therefore planning to sell some of my stuff which is still in mint condition. I figured other people and youngsters can have the stuff I don't need anymore, which I have barely even touched. Obviously, the hoarding has got to stop too (I'm a seriously "good" hoarder) and I have to learn how to let go of stuff I don't need anymore.
This also brings me to my next point of people and the nasty comments or things they say, either to my face or gossip about me which I catch wind of. As the saying goes, those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter. I can now easily identify the people who are genuinely concerned about me, and I'm really grateful to have all these friends by my side, even if we're physically apart (e.g. in different countries, etc). I have always been really conscious of others' opinions about me, and I think that's a part of my personality that will never really go away, but I think I might be able to alter the extent of how much that affects me. You never know until you try, right?
I used to feel so misunderstood sometimes, and I wanted a chance to explain myself. But seriously though, to hell with that. You can't please everyone, no matter how perfect you are. And nobody is perfect. I can understand how some people might have problems with my indiscretions from the past, but if I dwell on all those mistakes and unhappy times like some people, I'm never going to be able to move on. Right now, the future seems bright and happy, and I want to chase my dreams with confidence and wisdom. I want to do the right things, with the right guidance from the right people. You don't need to feel slighted by people who are actively anticipating your fall. I will not let all these "voodoo curses" take effect. I can take control of my own destiny.
Some say that badly-behaved girls have more fun, and well-behaved girls rarely make history. I am so tempted to use that an excuse for every single wrong step I have taken in life. But really now, I'm a 4th year uni student and I've pretty much made all the mistakes I could possibly ever made. It's time to get serious and live a proper, decent and down-to-earth life.
5. Constantly remind myself to focus on the right things
I must admit that when I first started typing this blog post half an hour ago, I was feeling pretty moody and depressed, and thinking about various upsetting things. However, as this post came together, I started feeling much more optimistic and confident about the things that will be coming my way in the near future. Now that I've got a concrete plan, I have an idea of the steps I will be taking subsequently, and know that all these baby steps will bring me to a great place.
On a side note, since blogging about my thoughts obviously helps, I will be doing it more often. This will be my little logbook of my journey, albeit the part of it which I am willing to make public. Hopefully, it serves me well!
6. Cultivate and maintain a healthier, happier and close relationship with my family
Back in my young days, and even just a few months back, I was still trapped in that "embarrassed by my family" and "family is uncool" kind of mentality. It was only until shit went down that I realised how hard it has been on my family, and how much they really care for me and love me. Clearly I have been a very ungrateful brat, and for that I sincerely apologise to my parents and brothers that I sometimes neglect. My heart breaks as I think back on the sleepless nights my parents had, their constant agonizing and worrying over my immature and insensible ways while studying abroad, and the laments my brothers made about how I never really seemed to be home, even when going back to Singapore during the holidays. I regret all the times I neglected to reply my mum's messages promptly, and how I held off Skype-ing my parents because it was "inconvenient".
I honestly feel that the past 2 months I spent with my family in Singapore have been by far the most loving and amazing times in a while. I truly look forward to hanging out with them, and just chatting about the most silly things. Obviously it still annoys me when my parents nag at me, but deep down I do know they're right. For example, I'm 20 years old and I have JUST started learning how to drive. Like seriously, what have I been doing all this while?!
We're not the most affectionate family, and we don't do all that hugging and kissing like other families. Also, as the oldest child, I don't really get to get all cutesy with my parents, but that's just fine. I know my family's got my back. And I hope, and will make sure they come to know, that I've got theirs too. Major love to Mum, Dad, Cheng Kai and Cheng Jie, the only people I will always love strongly and passionately, regardless of what ever happens.
7. Always be kind
I've come to appreciate kindness more than the quality of "niceness". To me, being nice has a really superficial aspect to it. Someone can be really nice to you, maybe just on the surface, and harbour really malicious thoughts which make physical manifestations in the form of gossip, etc. Kindness however, depicts a person with a heart of gold who has well-meaning intentions. And I hope I can become someone like that, no matter how hard it is. And I want to be kind to everyone, regardless of however I am treated.
It sounds extremely idealistic, and it's not going to happen overnight. But bit by bit, I will become a better person. I will become a kinder person, both to the right people, and the people who the old me would say, probably don't deserve it. Kindness makes no distinctions, and I think it's a wonderful thing to aspire for. I'm an awkward person, and even if I don't come across as being "nice", I hope that at the end of each day as I lay my head down on my pillow and turn in for the day, I can sleep well knowing that I've practised kindness to the best of my abilities.
A friend once told me back when we were 16 years old, that if someone is nasty to you, they are in the wrong, but if you and return the "favour", it is your fault. I will bear that in mind.
Sooooo that marks the end of my 2015 Semester 1 resolutions. 8 vows in total! I promise I will fare very well, don't you worry :)
Tata for now x
No comments:
Post a Comment