Updating after what seems like years

I haven't been updating for a while, oops. I don't think anyone even comes here anymore but that's probably better because I can rant all I want! I don't know what motivated me to come blog here again, it's probably all the overwhelming stuff I'm experiencing now, or that really encouraging message a friend sent me today, but anyway here I am again :)

Stuff that has changed since I last updated:

- I am now a Secondary 4 student. At first I was like "Wow I can finally watch NC16 movies!". Then, reality struck me and now I'm like "Wahliew I'm taking O's this year, can I rewind time and be Sec 2 again?!" Hahahaha.

- I am now more daring. At least I think so. Whether in dressing or addressing people. It's funny how some seemingly insignificant issues can change you as a person and how you view the world.

- I have learnt to be stronger and never give up. Today, I promised a friend that I wouldn't! I will perservere no matter how bad things get. Anyway, the world is so big, there's bound to some happiness somewhere. I just have to take that bold step, spread my wings, fly and locate it.

- I'm more matured now and I think before I do anything or speak, unlike last time. Manzzz, I was an idiot back then. Sometimes when I think back, I want to pull my hair out and ask myself: "WHY THE HELL DID YOU F***ING DO THAT!" But no, I don't do that because I don't swear, haha! And I'm telling myself that it's better to regret doing something than to regret not doing something.

And I've really, seriously, truly gotten over THAT matter. Thus, I really wish some people would stop going on and on about it. It doesn't make me feel sad anymore BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT IT PISSES ME OFF! Just... let it go. What's over is over. I'm glad it's over :) Nowadays I keep this small part of that memory with me, taking it out occassionally to remind myself about the brutal reality of life.

Recently I've had this burning question: Why do we all only ask "Why is that person so weird?" in a jokey way instead of "What made that person so weird?" in a logical and earnest way? It's strange, isn't it? We only seem to realise the seriousness of issues after something bad happens. My dearest friend, is that what happened to you? Would all this have not happened if I'd asked you a simple "How are you?" during that time?

Guilt pierces through the heart like a dozen sharp blades.