FML NOT.

Today was the luckiest day of my life, like seriously.

Just talked to my mum on the phone for almost 45 minutes. I think it's the longest I've ever talked to her ever since I started studying in Melbourne. I almost cried while talking to her, but of course I didn't tell her that. And I didn't tell her all about the bad stuff I'm going through right now either. I don't mean to hide stuff from the people I love and care about. Sometimes it's just because I don't want them to worry. And sometimes it's also because I hate showing people my weak side.

I didn't mean to keep things from you. I just didn't want to hurt you.

I promise I'll be stronger. I'll work hard from now onwards and I will not disappoint anyone, including myself. For the first time in 4 months, I genuinely miss home. I'm not lying like how I did. To be completely honest, I'm still not homesick. Deep down, I know that leaving Singapore was the best thing that ever happened to me. It's given me a chance to find myself and really try to change, at least see if it's possible. Apparently it's not, and I've done so much stupid stuff in this process. But it's too late for regrets and I'll turn all this into motivation for me to become a tougher person. And I'll do all this for me, myself and I.

I miss my friends and family so much. I miss the times when I could just be myself comfortably and not have to worry about how the people around me felt. I wish people weren't so judgmental but unfortunately, this is life. And I know I should get over it already.

I've learnt my lesson, now it's time to apply it.