Being different.

A.Math paper 1 was horrible, I'm definitely gonna flunk it. I don't even wanna talk about it.

I chatted with Weiyang on msn yesterday and it triggered me to think about being different. Last year, I went through a rough patch and vowed to become different. I wanted to change my whole lifestyle and behaviour (as well as my wardrobe but of course it's impossible). I've been wondering if I made a good decision and whether I changed at all.

一错再错,什么都不懂的是我

Changes I adopted:

1. I rebonded my hair. In November or December 2009, can't remember exactly when.

2. I cut off contact with certain people. I think that's crucial, stopped me from making stupid decisions and mistakes.

Great, now I can't think of anymore. Guess I didn't change much. WY said I give different replies compared to other people and it's interesting. So is that a good thing or a bad thing? Well, there are balances in everything. With good comes bad.

我没有流泪的时间
没有后悔的余地
How can I miss you if you never would stay?

I thought about Valerie that day, when Miss Rani confirmed that she'll be taking her 'O' levels privately and not attending lessons with us anymore. I kind of expected it, since she hasn't been coming to school for months. Sometimes, I feel guilty for forgetting about her all the time. We used to be good friends, I don't understand what happened. I've realised that a lot of stuff can happen and you may never understand them. But I'm fine with it. If you truly cared for someone, you wouldn't need to know what happened. All you need to be sure of is whether he/she is okay. I keep thinking : "What if I were nicer to her...", "What if I texted and called her more...", "what if what if what if". But there are so many "what if" questions in the world so I gave up.

Relationships between humans are so crucial, yet fragile.

There are so many people who've left such a great impact on me that my experiences with them seem to be engraved deeply into my soul. All those bittersweet memories. How do you get over these stuff and face life confidently?

I want to grow up.

We were almost.